Autism Through the Eyes of the Horse
Many autistic individuals describe receiving the same message throughout their lives: ‘You are not okay as you are’. Unlike humans, horses aren’t bound by the same social conditioning. They aren’t impressed by how well you speak or what you wear. They respond to what’s real, to nervous system cues, not social scripts.
World Autism Awareness Day invites us to reflect, on not just what we know about autism, but how we connect with autistic individuals. Having spent years working with neurodivergent clients and raising three autistic children (who’ve been my most honest and relentless teachers) this day holds significant meaning. While I’ve got a psychology degree, most of what’s actually useful came from real life, not textbooks. It’s that mix of personal and professional experience that’s shaped how I support others to better understand neurodivergence.
In both parenting and practice, I’ve seen this time and again: horses offer genuine, unconditional acceptance and real-time, uninhibited feedback. This is something many professionals, despite good intentions, are simply unable to provide.
Where Professionals Often Get It Wrong
No two autistic individuals experience the world in exactly the same way. Even within the autistic community, preferences around language vary. Some individuals use identity-first language ("I'm autistic"), while others prefer person-first ("I have autism"). Despite the stereotypes, autism doesn’t look like anyone, in fact, it looks like everyone.
Unfortunately, across schools, clinics and therapeutic settings, many autistic individuals are misunderstood. Systems that are designed to support them often contribute to shame and low self-worth. Autism is frequently approached through a lens of correction and conformity. Behaviours are misread as defiance or disinterest when they are often signs of anxiety, overwhelm or sensory overload. Instead of adjusting the environment, professionals often aim to adjust the individual. Sensory needs are overlooked. Stimming or withdrawal is discouraged. And the pressure to mask, to fit in, to stay quiet, and to avoid judgement can lead to serious mental health consequences.
Many autistic individuals describe receiving the same message throughout their lives: ‘You are not okay as you are’.
What Horses Do Differently
Horses aren’t bound by social conditioning. They aren’t impressed by what you say or how you look. They respond to what’s real, to nervous system cues, not social scripts. They meet people as they are, without opinions or judgements, something even the most well-meaning human often finds difficult to do.
For autistic individuals, this can be an incredibly rare and powerful experience. There’s no pressure to mask, to explain or to meet someone else’s expectations.
In Equine Assisted Wellbeing sessions there is no pressure to say or do anything. This uninhibited, non-judgemental space is often where true regulation can occur. Horses offer a bridge to trust and connection that doesn’t demand anything except your presence. And that can be deeply validating for someone who has spent most of their life feeling misunderstood.
But here’s the truth: You can’t learn to be free of shame in environments that reinforce it.
Why Neurodivergent-Informed Practice Is Essential
A horse may offer unconditional acceptance, but if the practitioner lacks a trauma-informed, neurodivergent-aware approach, that opportunity can be missed, or worse, become harmful.
As a parent, I’ve witnessed the damage caused by professionals who genuinely care but lack the knowledge to offer meaningful support. That’s why neurodivergent and trauma-informed understanding is central to the Equine Assisted Wellbeing Institute’s certification training. It’s not optional, it’s foundational. The practitioner shapes the space. And if they don’t understand the nervous system in front of them, even the horse can’t compensate for that.
Rethinking Autism Awareness
Raising autism awareness on a global scale starts at an individual level. We can all do our bit by questioning the beliefs we hold, the environments we create and the expectations we impose. Are we truly accepting of difference, or do our spaces demand that others shape themselves into something that makes us feel more comfortable?
For me, this day is personal. In addition to the many neurodivergent clients I’ve supported, I’m raising three autistic children who are navigating a world that often misunderstands them. I’ve seen the difference it makes when they feel accepted, seen and supported. Horses show us a different way of being with others, one that is free from labels, diagnoses and judgement. They respond to their environment moment by moment. It’s refreshing, it’s real and it’s rare and it’s something every neurodivergent person deserves to experience, not just in the paddock, but in the world!