Connection or Control?

At the Equine Assisted Wellbeing Institute we understand the importance and power of connections. To facilitate the experience of the horse-human connection for others, we need to know it, believe in it and feel it!

The Essence of Connection

Connection is a two-way street where we give and take, listen and respond. It's a fluid dance of mutual understanding, respect and unity where we are not alone in the world; connection means we are safe.

Control or Connection

It's not uncommon for people to confuse connection with control, and this mix-up can occur in various relationships, whether it's between a human and a horse, a parent and a child, or a teacher and a student. This confusion often arises when power dynamics are imbalanced.

Control typically arises from fear. It's a natural response to feeling uncertain or unsafe. However, when control takes over, it can lead to a harmful cycle of fear-driven, reactive behaviours or even emotional shutdown. These reactions, in turn, reinforce the unmet need for safety and a stronger desire for control.

This complex dynamic creates an environment that's far from safe or stable, and sadly, it's something that many horses and children have to endure and is not at all conducive to a therapeutic or educational environment.

The Journey to Embodied Connection

To create safe spaces for growth, healing, and connection, we must first embody it ourselves. This means acknowledging our fears and letting go of long-held beliefs about how we interact with horses and clients. It's not always easy, and it will never be perfected, but the joy that lies in the journey and the rewards that are reaped are definitely worth it! When we know better we must do better, and if we do not know, we must seek to know!

Why Authentic Connection Matters

Interestingly, the reason we crave connection so much and are so easily driven by fear is that we need connection to survive; it is a fundamental human (and horse) need. This also tells us that when we do experience genuine and authentic connection, we will feel so incredibly alive, and the idea of 'doing to your horse' won't come anywhere close to 'being with your horse'.

Experiencing authentic connection with a powerful and primal animal such as a horse and then having the privilege of sharing it with others is a joy beyond words. We're grateful for our role every day, knowing that by nurturing these connections we're contributing to something greater!

Felicity